How to Make New Friends

Build a community of awesome, like-minded humans around you.

I'm currently at SXSW in Austin, hosting a 4-day private mansion event that I’m calling Lumos House. We have yoga, breakfasts, lunches, dinners, a supper club, and a “tech” party at night.

If you’re around, reply here with a 1-sentence bio about yourself (make sure to brag!). I have a few spots left.

In August 2020, I moved to New York City.

It was the peak of COVID-19, and social clubs, indoor dining, and even gyms were closed. 99% of the people I knew had left the city, and I barely had a social life.

It was one of the most isolating periods of my life.

When things slowly began to open up again, I made it my mission to make as many friends as possible and build a community.

Over time, I learned how to make new friends, build authentic relationships, and build a genuine community to surround myself with new people.

So if you’re looking to make new friends, do this.

It’s worked in all 6 of the cities I’ve lived in, and I bet it’ll work for you too.

First, sign up for a bunch of local newsletters, community groups, social apps, and memberships. Subscribe to every email list, website, and subreddit you can find.

You want stuff coming into your inbox every week.

Then, RSVP to all the activities that interest you or that you are curious about.

Workout sessions, pottery classes, run clubs, etc. The best way to meet new people by doing the things you already love and putting yourself in environments you’re energized in.

Attend all the events with an open mind. Be kind, open-minded, conversational. Ask questions, be curious.

This guide is focused on networking events but might be helpful: Networking Events Etiqutte.

Aim to meet 1 person at every event that you plan to follow-up with and connect with on a deeper level.

If you talk to 3-4 people in the right environment, you’ll usually end up at least connecting with at least one person.

An easy, useful framework to use is the rule of THREE.

• At every event, aim to meet three new people.

• Learn three new things from each person,

• And share three things about yourself. Keep it simple! You’ll leave with new connections, knowledge, and a feeling that you’ve truly put yourself out there.

Spend some time with your new friend outside of the activity you met at. Go for a walk, or grab coffee or lunch. Get to know them better.

Meanwhile, keep attending more events and meeting more people.

Once you’ve met a dozen new friends, host something of your own. A curated, home-cooked meal at yours or a museum tour, or even a group fitness session with a coffee hangout afterward.

Invite a few of your new friends that you think would get along with each other. Curate the group.

Then, do it again, but with slightly more people. Ask your new friends to each invite 1 wonderful person to this event that you haven’t met before. Embrace the concept of a second-degree dinner.

Do this consistently, at least once a month, and before you know it, you’ll have built a large community of awesome, like-minded humans around you.`

📌 Andrew’s Picks

Fascinating internet things I’ve come across…

• How to be remarkable – A short piece by Seth Godin on how to be remarkable. Short and concise, but excellent.

• How to write good copy for the internet (a guide) – Greg is the guru of building internet communities. Part of how he’s been so successful comes from his ability to write persuasively. A short guide.

• Adults don’t exist – “If you could put one idea on a billboard for the world to see - what would it be?” George Mack would say “adults don't exist.”

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🖼️ Behind the Scenes

The coolest “prop” I’ve ever had at a tech party was an F1 driving simulator.

We hosted it in the Lumos House for 2 nights, and people loved it. We recorded 37 laps!

We even awarded the person with the fastest lap two free tickets to the Grand Prix this year. Thank you to VeUP.