Networking Events Etiquette
Things to do, things to avoid, and best practices if you want to have great conversations.
We had our first proper snowfall in NYC yesterday.
It reminds me of Blizzard NYC, a marvelous short film produced by the gifted Jake Oleson, whom I had the pleasure of meeting ten years ago. Whenever I'm feeling down, stressed, or burned out, I like to watch this video to be reminded of how beautiful this city is, and how lucky I am to live here.
I love good art that adds significance to your everyday routine.
Beyond NYC, I am planning a series of old-school “hacker-house” esque events in Miami, LA, SF, and Austin. The first one will be in a 4,000+ sq ft mansion at SXSW from March 11-14. Programming will run from dawn to midnight, including breakfast clubs, fireside chats, workout sessions, curated dinners, and parties in the evening. I will be investing a significant amount into these productions and expect them to be the highlight of 2024. These will be called Junto Houses.
If you’d like to get involved as a sponsor or partner in any way, please reply here.
Enjoy today’s piece!
Through my experience hosting and producing hundreds of events for 25,000+ tech CEOs, founders, operators, and investors, I’ve picked up on a few points of etiquette.
What I’ve noticed:
Most people struggle with the “networking” thing.
Especially after spending three years alone and cooped up behind a screen at home, to suddenly finding yourself in a room full of one hundred strangers. Who, incidentally, feel the exact same way you do.
If you want to build authentic relationships and maximize the likelihood of meeting someone who could change the trajectory of your life, there is specific networking event etiquette I recommend you follow.
Things to do, things to avoid, and best practices if you want to have great conversations.
This is the letter I sent out to attendees at a recent event:
Respect, inclusion, and reputation. These are professional events, and your future manager, investor, or customer could be in attendance. Word spreads quickly in communities. If you’re known as a jerk, word will spread like wildfire. It takes decades to build a reputation and minutes to lose it.
Follow-up boundaries. Sharing LinkedIn profiles and emails is a safe bet. Instagram and phone numbers—less so. When in doubt, opt for the former.
Be curious to be interesting. Some people believe that by bragging and talking about themselves, they’ll convince others that they are interesting people. That rarely works. Instead, be interested in others. Ask questions and listen more than you talk. And instead of asking “Where do you work?” opt for a more creative one like “What are you excited about?” or “What are you building?”. Be interested by being curious.
Serendipity in the crowd. Find the highest-traffic areas for the lowest friction areas to start conversations. Place yourself by the beverage station. Find the line. Or take advantage of the elevator rides to make your "pitch.”
Rollcall. Go from URL → IRL and post about the event online to connect with people who are attending or have attended and ask: “Who is going to [Event Name] and is focused on [Goal]? I’ve used this trick for many years to build both targeted and serendipitous relationships. I’m shocked at how few people do this.
I love your shoes. It can be nerve-racking to talk to a stranger but remind yourself that everyone is there for the same goal: to meet new people. If you’re at a networking event, you’re incredibly lucky to be in an environment with such a high density of smart, curious people. I found that the easiest way to start a conversation with a stranger is to give them a genuine compliment.
The Rule of Three. At every event, aim to meet three new people. Learn three new things from each person, and share three things about yourself. Keep it simple! You’ll leave with new connections, knowledge, and a feeling that you’ve truly put yourself out there.
Gratitude. Finally, thank the person after your conversation. Thank the volunteers. Thank the staff on your way out. It takes a lot to put an event together for the community..
Bonus: Volunteer!
There is a small community of volunteers for my events (The A-Team) who help run the event, chat with attendees, and hang out. The easiest way by far to get started with “networking.” Reply to this email if you’re interested,
I hope this helped. Just four years ago my New Year’s Resolution was to attend one networking event a month. I couldn’t do it. I was shy, and nervous, and the idea of going to a networking event alone scared the crap out of me
But time and repetition changed everything, and I’ve met some of the most important people in my life at these events.
📌 Andrew’s Picks
Fascinating internet things I’ve come across.
How to Build Your Startup Brand – How startups like Ramp, Allbirds, and Chime Think about choosing a name, defining the brand strategy, and launching it. By Rex Woodbury - a brilliant VC who writes about startups, investing, and tech.
Reconsidering Career Optionality – Why building a company might actually be less risky than working a corporate job. By Erik Torenberg - early ProductHunt operator and co-founder of OnDeck.
When to Dig a Moat – Why all companies need to build moats, and what exactly it means to dig one. By Packy McCormick, writer and founder of Not Boring and Not Boring Capital.
🖼️ Behind the Scenes
I threw the first NYC tech mixer of 2024.
1,000+ founders, operators, and investors attended.
3 floors. The rooftop was the Builder’s Oasis, the main floor - The Tech Lounge, and the private basement club, The Investor Hideout.
It was a complete production with the help of 30+ staff and volunteers.
Fidelity, First Gen Law, Snowfoll, and Coffee Meets Bagel were my partners in crime.
My goal is to build the Disneyland of tech events.
People shouldn’t have to feel obligated to go to networking events. They should want to because they always leave with a satisfied feeling that they’ve made a positive impact and serendipitously met people who can dramatically change the trajectory of their career.
Disneyland is the happiest place on earth.
I want these events to be the most serendipitous place on earth.
Big goal. But if you’d like to work with me, fill this out to sponsor an event. Door is open for other types of partnerships too.
Great post