The Hidden "Third Door" to Success Nobody Talks About

How to get ahead when you think you're just average.

Nov 13, 2024

I spent the first 20 years of my life being remarkably average at almost everything.

I wasn’t terribly smart. Math and science were hard for me.
I had below-average grades from middle school up until I graduated from college.
I wasn’t overly outgoing or social. In fact, I was pretty damn shy up until 3-4 years ago.

I lacked the typical “outlier” traits, like infectious charisma, natural confidence, and raw intelligence, that define the billionaire CEOs of our generation.

No matter how hard I pushed myself, my results were always average—often even below average.

In college, I'd spend hours studying, only to end up with poor grades. I'd spend months applying for jobs without success and send hundreds of cold emails, rarely getting a reply.

Then, I had a rude awakening:

If I stayed on this path, I’d be stuck with average results for life.

Let me be clear—there’s nothing wrong with average results. They’re fine for some people, but they weren’t fine for me. I wanted something more. But how?

I realized I had to stop playing everyone else’s game.

I had to stop doing what everyone else was doing because it sure as hell wasn’t working for me, and I needed to create my own game and define my own rules.

Everything changed when I came across the idea of the third door (which transformed how I did everything).

How I Found the “Third Door”

I discovered the concept through Alex Banayan’s book, The Third Door.

Picture this: you’re trying to enter an exclusive nightclub. There are three doors:

After learning about this idea, I made it a habit to solve every problem by finding the third door.

I became almost allergic to conformity, ignoring common wisdom. Whenever I saw someone do something a certain way, I would try to do it differently.

I was convinced that there was always an unconventional, non-obvious way of getting things done—you just had to search for it.

Here are the four key things I started doing:

Creating Magnets.

I’ve always struggled with getting into the room.

To get into the room, you had to know the right people, have a top-tier resume, or be wicked smart or charismatic. None of those described me, so I realized I needed a new approach: How could I get them to come to me?

I had the create the room myself.

Instead of trying to get into events with business executives and decision-makers, I hosted my own.
Instead of trying to get on the stage to speak to thousands of people, I invited the people I wanted to speak alongside and created my own.
Instead of chasing journalists for media coverage, I offered my network to them, and as a result, I got featured in Bloomberg, Business Insider, Fast Company, Morning Brew, and Fortune Magazine.

I didn’t fit the traditional mold of success, so I crafted my own based on my unique strengths, skills, and life circumstances, and created magnets to attract the outcomes that I wanted in my life.

Speaking in front of 1,000+ people in Bucharest, Romania

Using Speed as a Differentiator.

I remember a line from one of my favorite movies, Margin Call:

“There are three ways to make a living in this business: be first, be smarter, or cheat.

Now, I don't cheat. And although I like to think we have some pretty smart people in this building, it sure is a hell of a lot easier to just be first”.

— Some random banking CEO

Key takeaway: The easiest way to differentiate yourself is to be faster.

Throughout my career, I’ve used speed as a competitive advantage (and it’s always paid off!):

I landed an internship opportunity to work closely with the CEO of a 20,000-person company by replying to her email within 10 seconds.
My fastest time for making an introduction after being asked was under a minute.
I organized a 1,000-person event in a different city with just 21 days of prep time.

A quicker pace of work also leads to a higher volume of work output:

1,500+ introductions made this year
200+ events for 40,000+ people hosted this year
50+ articles and 45,000+ words published this year

I’m not trying to brag—I’m making a point:

You can often gain an edge just by being faster.

I don’t outwit or outmaneuver my competition; I just act more quickly.

Investing in Decade-Long Relationships

Many people take a shortsighted approach to building relationships, especially in major metropolitan areas like New York, Toronto, and San Francisco.

I get it—there’s a high density of people, giving you what seems like infinite options for relationships. This is true for networking, friendships, and dating, but it’s also where optionality can hurt you.

My approach is different—I treat each initial conversation as an invitation to a decade-long relationship.

Example: I was rejected by dozens of hiring managers throughout my career. Each time, I accepted the rejection graciously, thanked them for their time, and offered to introduce them to other candidates.

I did the same for clients who said “no”. I continued to offer help, invited them to my events, and provided introductions.

Eventually, it came back around—my first job at Bell came from a rejection from their internship program, which I turned into a friendship with their hiring manager that I nurtured over a year.

My path into Facebook was from a cold outreach that turned into a recurring mentorship lasting over three years, and my entry point into Google came from building a relationship with someone I met spontaneously at a bar in Tribeca.

Today, my largest six-figure clients are the result of developing relationships over the past four years (see my CRM template here).

The strongest foundations in life and business come from long-term relationships.

Giving Generously Without the Expectation of Return

The best way to stand out in a world driven by “What can you do for me?” is to be generous.

My strategy for gaining access has always been to do unprompted pro-bono work. It’s been my trojan horse for opening doors, building relationships, and getting larger opportunities.

In my early 20s, I knew nothing about startups, tech, and venture. I worked at a large, traditional company where the most cutting-edge product was home internet, and I’d never met a venture capitalist (VC). Still, I knew I wanted to be “tech” someday.

So I shopped myself around, offering my most valuable asset at the time—my time—to young, early-stage companies in need of support. I’d scroll endlessly, looking for interesting companies, before cold DMing the CEO to share my suggestions and offering to help.

This scored me my first advisory role at 23 with a tech logistics startup that had raised a few hundred thousand dollars and needed all the on-ground support they could get. It became my starting point for more startup opportunities and helped build my brand as a helpful advisor.

So far, I’ve been lucky to advise and invest in over 20 startups, including some founded by entrepreneurs you probably know of!

Give without the expectation of return and it will come back tenfold.

***

For anyone feeling uninspired, unmotivated, or stuck on a plateau, I hope this piece inspires you to take bold, creative action.

I'm just the average guy—not particularly gifted or exceptionally smart in any specific area, but I’ve managed to find some success by discovering unfair advantages that are uniquely suited to me.

Go find your third door!

📌 Andrew’s Bookmarks

My top picks from the internet this week.

Scott Galloway: The Algebra of Happiness – Scott is known for his musings on tech, markets, and venture, but here he shares his results from a side quest to find fulfillment and happiness.
Deep talk with your partner – Great questions lead to great conversation. 40 great questions to ask a partner or loved one.
Shaan Puri: one minute blog: the elon special – Elon’s been in the spotlight recently. Here’s Shaan’s analysis on what makes Elon special.

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Job opportunities at companies in my network.

Product Marketing Manager, Carry
Operator, Carry
City Launcher, POSH
Head of Customer Support, 1v1Me
Head of Sales, Thera
Account Executive, Thera
SDR, Otis AI
Senior Full Stack Software Engineer, Sidebar
Co-Pilot, Othership
Partner Curator, Select
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