How to Network as an Introvert (Part 1)
Tricks for building influence and getting a seat at the table as an introvert.
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When I first moved to America, I experienced culture shock like never before.
But not in the way you’d expect, I’ll explain!
I spent the first two decades of my life in Hong Kong, Taiwan, and China – places where the values are the opposite of what you see in America.
I was taught:
Community is more important than individualism
Having respect for authority is valued over being bold and creative
That you should work hard, follow the rules, and eat bitterness
Step out of line, and you’d be dismissed, mocked, and in some cases, even face legal consequences. (A story for another time.)
As a result, I grew up a quiet, shy introvert. Most of us were.
So imagine the surprise when I came to America and met some of the most outgoing, confident, and social people I’d ever seen. They could sell, speak on stage, and own a room. It was pretty inspiring, but also intimidating.
In the first few years, I began to notice something:
At large corporations like Facebook and Google, where I worked, these traits were often correlated with success. The top 1%.
And so I thought that’s what success required – and that being introverted was a weakness.
But over the years, I started learning the game. I began meeting people who were wildly influential and successful — people who had built billion-dollar companies and risen through the ranks quickly, but were quiet and thoughtful too.
I listened to them, studied them, learned their playbook, and eventually found my own way of networking and building influence.
Today, I want to share my personal framework for building a network, getting into rooms, and creating career optionality, even as an introvert.
It’s helped me achieve a little success, and I hope it does the same for you. Here are my principles for networking as an introvert:
Ship Your Thinking
As an introvert, content and media are your best friends. They are your passive networking engines, working for you while you sleep.
The beauty of content is that you can ship once, and with the click of a button, you can reach thousands—sometimes millions—of people who resonate with how you think, what you believe, and what you’re building.
Since I started writing in 2021, my content has reached tens of millions of people around the world. That’s more than I could ever meet face to face. It’s opened doors, built relationships, and attracted opportunities I never would’ve found by networking the traditional way.
Let your work, your thinking, or your taste signal who you are. Write, speak, ship, and eventually, people will find you.
Be a Solitary Socialite
A solitary socialite is someone who is physically alone but digitally connected.
They might be alone in a bedroom, but socially connected to hundreds of people online at once. They're sharing ideas in a group chat, responding to email threads, replying to DMs, or posting something on Reddit that drives new conversations.
And they’re doing it without small talk, without handshakes, without the overstimulation that usually drains introverts.
This is the paradox of modern connection: you don’t necessarily have to be in the physical room to be in the conversation. You don’t need to speak loudly to be heard. And you don’t need to know someone IRL to start building trust, credibility, and relationships.
The most significant expansion of my network happened in 2020, during the COVID lockdowns.
I was stuck at home, locked in my room, behind a computer screen. Thousands of miles away from my family, my closest friends, and any kind of in-person interaction. But that isolation became a forcing function to become even more connected digitally, and taught me the value of digital connection.
Find a Cliff
I have a close friend named Cliff – one of the most genuine, outgoing people I’ve ever met.
He’ll strike up conversations anywhere — at events, restaurants, and even on airplanes. He’s gifted with the natural ability to make people feel at ease within seconds and effortlessly earns trust.
Over time, Cliff got to know me and what I care about. Now, he goes around spreading the word — introducing me to people, championing my work, and connecting dots I didn’t even know existed.
Everyone needs a Cliff. Someone in your corner who unintentionally goes around, spreading your gospel and sharing your work with the world. Not like a marketer or salesperson, but like an evangelist.
Be an Exceptional Conversationalist
Here’s a truth that took me years to learn: You don’t need to be outgoing to be a great conversationalist.
The best conversations I’ve had weren’t with the loudest people in the room, but the most present. They were the people who made you feel heard, asked thoughtful questions, and actually cared about the answers.
Being an exceptional conversationalist is all about making the other person feel like the most interesting person in the room. And to do that, you need to ask better questions – not to fill space, not to sound smart – but because you genuinely want to understand.
Most people don’t do this. They’re waiting for their turn to speak. They’re thinking about what to say next. That’s why when you give someone your full attention, it leaves a mark. People don’t forget how you made them feel.
Master the 60-Second Pitch
At a networking event, at a party, or even on the street, it is inevitable that you will be asked: “What do you do?”
And when you are, it is helpful to have your “pitch” locked down. No winging it or rambling.
Have a sharp, honest, and slightly unconventional answer ready. Three points max:
What you do – clear, in simple language (think: ELI5)
Why you do it – what drives you?
Something unexpected – a hook, twist, or belief that makes you memorable
For example (a condensed version):
“I run a tech events and media company for founders and investors. We’ve hosted 200+ dinners, conferences, and events for 40,000+ people across eight cities. I started by throwing tech parties because I wanted to make friends while I worked at Facebook, and somehow it’s grown into a million-dollar business.”
This works because it’s specific, credible, and just unusual enough to get someone to lean in with curiosity, and when someone starts a conversation, you’ll be ready to go!
Playing Your Own Game
What I've come to learn over the past few years is that being introverted isn't a liability – it actually forces you to listen more, think before you speak, and build depth over breadth. In today's world, it’s a huge advantage.
You don't have to play the extrovert's game to succeed. You just need to learn how to play your own game well, which means building leverage with content, becoming a student of human behavior, and developing your own rituals for connection.
I have a lot more to share, but I've decided to break it down in two parts. In the next part, I'll break down and share more principles that I've used throughout my journey to succeed as an introvert.
Stay tuned, and I hope this has a tiny bit of positive impact on your life + career.
✅ See It in Action: How to Build a 100X CRM
As you build relationships, one of the most important things you need to do is to have a great system for managing your relationships.
So on May 29th at 2:00 pm EST, I’m hosting part 2 of my virtual event: How to Build a 100x Personal CRM to walk you through how I manage my personal + professional relationships, make introductions, and oversee 40,000+ contacts.
I’ve also invited my friend Tem to share his process. He is a productivity magician and one of the most resourceful, scrappy, and smart people I know when it comes to tools and systems.
We’ll answer your questions, share more advice, and give you actionable tips to get started building a CRM.
It’s completely free, and you will get access to the event recording + slides.
📌 Andrew’s Bookmarks
Important links to help you become wiser, smarter, and more creative.
underdo the competition by Shaan Puri – Why innovation can actually mean doing less.
ultimate employee: the one that is truly proactive by Auren Hoffman – I met Auren a while back—he’s a kind, thoughtful founder who’s built and sold multiple companies, including two valued at over $300M. He’s managed hundreds, and in this post, he shares his playbook for becoming a top 1% employee. Worth reading.
7 Things I Wish I Knew About Money in my 20s by Ankur Nagpal – Ankur is a friend who made $250M+ by his early 30s. He’s one of the sharpest, most resourceful people I know when it comes to financial discipline, taxes, and investing. Here’s his advice.
How I Screwed Up Accounting – Lessons from Sasha Orloff, 3x Founder & Puzzle CEO – The debut episode in Rippling's new video series, where founders get candid about the biggest mistakes they made—and what they learned building through them.
👀 My friends at Superpower are launching something special…
💼 Job Board
Sharing job opportunities that my friends are hiring for. If we know each other, feel free to reach out, and I can connect you directly.
Senior Full-Stack Software Developer, Neo.Tax
Founding Engineer, Stealth AI Prosumer Startup
Head of Engineering, Carry
Founding Growth Lead, Superpower
Head of Creator Partnerships & Influencer Marketing, Superpower
Head of Product, Superpower
Founding Engineer, String
Marketing Manager / Sr Product Designer, Escargot
Startup Community Manager, Intercom (mssg John Roche)
Sales Manager, Reddit
Senior Product Manager, Sydecar
Software Engineer, Atlas
Multiple roles, Othership
Have a job to share? Let me know by replying to this email.
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🖼️ Behind the Scenes
New York’s café game is undefeated. Every so often, you find a hidden gem that is still somehow under the radar.
Doing you a favor today: I recently discovered the lounge at Hotel Chelsea. It’s got a co-working space, a bar, restaurant, and a bunch of other stunning areas – and it was empty on a Sunday.
I’ll be posted up here for the next few weekends. Definitely worth checking out.
